


The Corridor

by Heerayni



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canon-Compliant, Drama, Gen, Tragedy, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-20
Updated: 2012-12-20
Packaged: 2017-11-21 19:03:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/601087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heerayni/pseuds/Heerayni
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A One-shot that tells of Severus' broken heart and shattered dreams - Canon Compliant. Death/Tragedy</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Corridor

**THE CORRIDOR**

He stands hidden in the shadows. Always hidden in the shadows. Waiting. Breaking.

Heart beating fast, hair limp against his cheeks, eyes reddened, cheeks sunken, hands clammy and fidgeting, legs trembling, breaking. He knows he is breaking so fast and so much.

One word. One wrong word to the wrong person. One mistake! Just one!

He has written letters after letters, declaring his stupidity, apologizing, some of those letter he had to rewrite again once he finished writing them because of the tear stains. All of them return, un-opened.

He has declared his love, over and over and over in those letters. Irrevocable love, fixated and passionate. To no avail.

He can only blame her for not opening those letters. He cannot really blame her for any other cruelty, for surely her heart is tender enough, that if she broke the seal of one of his letters, she would know, she would forgive.

She is his only friend. Only one who has ever touched him with any kindness and that kindness for him is like the air he breathes. It is no wonder he feels like he is dying inside since the fateful day. He feels the impending doom, he feels the claws of darkness clutching against his throat. Sinking in deeper and deeper. They have always been hovering over his head for a few past years since he was placed in his house and had proven himself to be a prodigy in potions. But he had refused to give in. Looking away from the darkness easily towards the light that she was and that shined just for him. His own little sun.

He knew he was unlucky by birth. Born to parents who were too absorbed in their own tragedies to love him even slightly, with a face and disposition that made even strangers uneasy. He had been a sad child, a shadow, a little mess of limbs and bones and hair and nose, just breathing, surviving, filling the void with knowledge. Cold hard knowledge and then she had come along. All fire and flight. So beautiful and perfect and she had acknowledged him. Touched him. Befriended him.

He had resisted, oh how he had resisted from falling so far and deep, but there was no preventing. For she was like a storm against his rickety window. Circumstances had been against him from the beginning, she was sorted into the rival house, had quickly made so many friends, but he had held on to her. Because it was he who needed to hold on, there were those who wanted to sweep her away, had bullied him to no end, mocked him, hit him, slandered him and finally the blow had come, and he had stupidly let go for a moment. Just a moment. He was wounded, his pride had taken over and he had said cruel things, to the one who least deserved it. One mistake. Just one.

He had known the very next moment that he had made a mistake, a severe one. He knew he had to make amends and he had been trying since but with every day that passes, now he knows she is slipping away. So when the letters do not work he started following her. Discreetly. Watched her in her daily motions. Watched her change her path whenever she sees him coming. Watched her laughing with those who hurt and tormented him. He could not think her cruel, only too kind and friendly to see through the façade of those bullies.

They never leave her alone these days, as if they know he is trying to reach her. and then he had heard the Gossiping Hufflepuffs who claimed to have seen her kissing one of his enemies. That cursed James Potter! He never has believed in gossip, but desperate times call for desperate measures. He is drowning, too fast, he needs her. He needs to belong to her now that she has shown him what belonging feels like, he does not think he can ever take not belonging. He cannot stay afloat for long.

He wishes he was struck dead before he said that word to her. But surely, it was the approach that was difficult, she would listen to him if he got to say what he had to say.

So he stands here, in this corridor, which she usually takes as the shortcut to go to the library from the tower almost every day. It is never on a fixed tower so he has been standing since the classes finished and he intends to stand here even if it takes all night. It's cold here and he is sweating and freezing at the same time. still he waits. He tries to put up a warming charm but it makes him feel worse. He gives up. Footsteps sound in the far end of the corridor. His heart skips a beat. The footsteps are coming closer to the corridor he stands hidden in, in a few moments she would enter it and he would grab hold of her and never let go. Never… ever… ever… A second set of footsteps sound all of a sudden and he hears an alarmed squeak. Eyes widened, he flicks his wand out effortlessly to go to the rescue before he hears a giggle. He peaks through the corner towards the other end of the corridor where the voices are coming from only to see two shadows standing there.

"James! What are you doing?"asks Lily

"Kidnapping you! you would not have any fun otherwise!"

"I do have a lot of fun thank you very much, I need no manhandling from you!"

"Ah! Lily! If only I could…I would manhandle you and then kiss you…and then…."

"Oh Dear God! James Potter you are insatiable! None of this anymore! You had your fair share of kisses in the common room not an hour ago and here you are again."

"Oh pshh! If you think those were a fair share I think I will be starving for kisses for the rest of my life."

"Rest of your life? Aren't we a bit optimistically presumptive?" her voice sounds a bit low and breathy.

"Maybe, but it is what we want… forever."

"hmmm… I will hold you to that James Potter."

There is distant sound of clothes rustling and then breathy sighs as young lovers kiss and come up for air every few minutes. Yet the shadow has stopped breathing.

He can feel life and warmth slipping out of his fingers. It is gone. Lost. Forever. For his Lily never says things or does things she does not mean. He feels the nervous energy seep out of his legs as he is unable to hold himself up any longer and slides down into a heap of limbs and bones and nose and hair. There is no soul left in him. The kindness and warmth of life is drifting away now. Bleeding out of him in form of sweat and silent tears. In a moment of grieving delirium he sees an apparition of a ten year old himself standing over himself and peering at him in pity. He can stand everything but pity. He raises his wand and flicks it at the apparition with shaking hands.

'sectumsempra!' he croaks in his hitching and hoarse voice.

The apparition merely stares at him at the curse hits the wall behind him with taking a chunk of it out.

'Go away! I hate you! You made me this way! Go away!" he snarls at the illusion, his voice is nothing above a fierce whisper.

"Severus?" says a strangely familiar voice and his wand hand that is in the process of casting another curse jerks in the direction attacking the intruder without looking. For a moment he cares nothing about who it hits and what damage it does, that is before his eyes focus on his flying away curse. One which would prove to be most painful and deadly for the one cursed. He cannot stop it now. As the curse reaches the figure standing tall in the end of the corridor, the person raises the wand and casts a red shield. To Severus' relief the shield easily deflects the deadly curse. That is before panic sets it again. The person standing at the end of the corridor is a powerful enough wizard or witch to deflect his deadly curse. It's a teacher most probably, which means that he would soon be expelled for using dark magic on school premises and that too on a teacher. He has a mind to make a run for it, but he knows he can't. The person just recognized him by his name. Slowly yet cautiously the shadowy figure walks towards him.

Shadowed green eyes are all he sees before blackness takes him over.

* * *

  


"Severus!" someone pulls at his shoulder. He tightens his arm around the cool motionless body he is holding in his arms. His eyes clenched shut so fiercely that he feels his eyelids would push his eyes balls back into his skull.

"Severus! Let go of her Severus! She is gone…"

"Never, ever! Ever! Ever! Ever!" he shakes his head vehemently trying to shake the still young but lifeless body of his Lily.

"It's over Severus! For now Its over my dear boy... let go now…"

He feels as if his chest is going to cave in at any moment.

"How? How how how how? ALBUS! HOW DO YOU LET GO!? HOW CAN I LET GO ALBUS? HOW HOW HOW?"

"You hold on to the memories Severus! You hold on to the memories, you hold on to that for which she sacrificed herself."

"What was it Albus?" he opens his eyes and looks up at the older wizard desperately.

"Love… what else my dear boy? Is that not what you sacrificed yourself for?"

"For love? For H-H-Harry?"

"Yes, for Harry, and he lives Severus! And now, you must live for him. To protect that which Lily protected. Her Harry! The little boy who carries now the love of his mother just under his skin. She is still here Severus, not truly gone, never truly gone, not until those who are faithful to her remain. She will never be gone until you remain."

Slowly and in his own time, he cautiously lays his Lily down. Tracing a finger across her cheek as his vision keeps blurring and making him unable to see her face every few seconds. Damned tears. He wants to just look at her one last time! Is it so impossible? He wants to lay down next to her and die, but a part of him understands and agrees with Albus. As hard as it may be.

And so Severus remains. Forever the boy standing in the corridor waiting for his Lily. Waiting for the day he could get out of the shadows and reach her.

Ten years later, he sees the purpose of his life. A puny little boy with hair to match his father's horrible mop and the horrendous glasses. But it is the eyes behind those glasses. Blazing green eyes. And Severus has grown old enough to tell himself to not fall for those eyes again. Once was enough. No, Harry Potter will never have his love. But Harry Potter will have his life.

And that was just fine.

Until the day he lies bleeding, knowing that he is dying and looks up for the last time to look into those blazing green eyes. Really look into them for the first time without malice, or the probing intention of legilimency, and he realizes that these were eyes that had found him in the corridor all those years ago when he had broken beyond repair for the first time.

Tears of memories blur his vision as his savior collects them in a vial. Eyes full of concern for someone like Severus. And in that moment he feels accomplished and loved and cherished and understood.

His heart gives out.

 


End file.
